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Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
Recently,
I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit
Disorder.
This
is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the
driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I
start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table thatI brought up from
the mail box earlier.
I
decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay
my car keys on the table,put the junk mail in the garbage can under the
table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I
decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But
then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage
anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I
take my check book off the table and see that there is only one check left. My
extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk
whereI find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking..
I'm
going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi asideso that I
don't accidentally knock it over.
The
Pepsi is getting warm,and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it
cold.
As I
head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,a vase of flowers on the countercatches
my eye--they need water.
I put
the Pepsi on the counter anddiscover my reading glasses thatI've been searching
for all morning.
I
decide I better put them back on my desk,but first I'm going to water the
flowers.
I set
the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly
spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I
realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,I'll be looking for the remote,but
I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,so I decide to put it back in
the den where it belongs,but first I'll water the flowers.
I
pour some water in the flowers,but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I
set the remote back on the table,get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then,
I head down the hall trying toremember what I was planning to do.
At
the end of the day:
the
car isn't washed
The
water is still running
the
bills aren't paid
there
is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
the
flowers don't have enough water
there
is still only 1 check in my check book
I
can't find the remote
I
can't find my glasses, and
I
don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then,
when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm
really baffled because I know I was busy all day,and I'm really tired.
I
realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it,
but
first I'll check my e-mail....
Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know,because I don't remember who I've sent it to.Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!